Restraint (Heaven Hill Generations Book 5) Page 4

  Doc Jones.

  Instead of being sad when I think of her now, I remember the gifts she gave us. But it’s true the Heaven Hill group will never be the same without the woman who saw us through so many problems.

  “Is she going to be okay for you?” Mom asks from the hallway.

  “Yeah.” I nod. “I think we’ll be just fine.”

  She turns back to her office and I get ready to start my day.

  Like many things in my life. This isn’t where I thought I’d be - learning to use something new - but I’ll welcome it and adjust accordingly. That’s what I do.

  “Wait, Fogel!” I shout as I sprint across the street. “Don’t close the doors yet, I have one I have to file.”

  “You’re lucky I like you, Justice.” The bailiff who stands guard at the courthouse grins as he holds it open for me. “Anyone else I would’ve pretended like I didn’t hear them.”

  “Hashtag blessed,” I giggle as I watch him do exactly what he just said. He closes and locks the door. “I’ve got fifteen minutes?”

  He glances down at his watch. “Thirteen. Better be quick. When you get done, I’ll let you out.”

  “Thanks!”

  Not waiting for the elevator, I take the stairs two at a time, hanging onto the folder carrying the paperwork I need. The online submission portal went down right as I tried to submit these documents. Which is par for the course. It goes down at least three times a week. I’m not even sure why the city still bothers with it.

  Busting through the door on the third floor, I breathe a sigh of relief when I see there’s no one in line. “Hey, Judy.” I hurry up to the window, trying to control my pants after taking three flights of stairs. “Your POS document submission system is down. I barely made it.”

  She chews on a piece of gum, popping it in the side of her cheek. “You’re preaching to the choir, girlie.” She takes the papers I’m handing her, looking them over. “Is this all you need?”

  “Yeah, can you stamp and give me a copy?”

  “There’s so many people who run in here and then can’t be bothered to wait. Do you know how much that pisses me off? Then if something gets lost in the process, we don’t know where to begin to look for it. I appreciate you following the protocol.”

  “That’s me, Judes. Pro-to-col. My momma didn’t raise a fool.”

  “Your momma raised you right. Want me to bill the law office?” she asks as she hands over the stamped copies.

  “Yes, please. Is there anything I need to take over there?”

  Judy leaves me to go check if anything needs to come back with me. “Nope, you’re good. See ya later, Justice.”

  “See ya.” I wave, this time walking over to the elevator to take it down. I’ve gotten my exercise for the day.

  When it opens and lets me out on the lobby floor, I see Fogel waiting for me to come down. “Thank you again.”

  “No problem, how’s your family?”

  With most people I’d be cautious and nervous that they’re asking about my family, but Deputy Fogel has worked here for the last five years. He knows exactly who my family is and what we do. My parents have never warned me about him, and there’s never been an underlying current of dishonesty when we talk. If anything, he seems genuinely interested, and I’m the same with him.

  “Doing pretty good. I think we’re gonna cook out tonight. What about you and the wife?”

  His eyes have a glint to them I’ve never seen before. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. We haven’t told anyone yet, but I can’t keep it in much longer.” He pulls his phone from his uniform pants, working to find what he wants to show me. When he does, he turns the screen around to face me, a triumphant smile on his face.

  “Is this what I think it is?” I clap as I see the grainy black and white picture of what I assume is an ultrasound.

  “Yeah, she’s eight weeks. We’ve been trying for three years.”

  I can’t help myself, I hug him tightly. “Congratulations!”

  “Thank you.” He blushes.

  “And don’t worry,” I assure him, “your secrets are safe with me.”

  Chapter Six

  Caelin

  The garage is hopping, like always. I don’t think I can remember a time since I’ve been born that we’ve been slow. If you ask the old-timers, like my dad and Liam, they’ll tell you of lean years for the club. I’m glad I haven’t had to experience them.

  Today I’m working on this truck by myself. Which is nice because of the thoughts rolling around in my head. This morning with Justice was more than I thought it would be. Telling her that she scares me was a declaration I didn’t intend to make. But here we are. Once words are said aloud, they can’t be taken back. That’s a lesson I learned at a young age.

  There’s a smell and a sound that reminds me of home every time I work at Walker’s Wheels. If I can’t be in my office, then this is where I would much rather spend my time. My wrench slips, causing me to bang my hand against the metal of the part next to it. “Shit.” I wince, dropping the wrench with a clatter onto the floor and pulling my already-bruising knuckles out.

  “You okay?”

  Drew’s voice surprises me, I didn’t think he was supposed to be here today. With everything going through my head, he’s the last person I want to see.

  “Yeah.” I grimace as I flex my fingers and hand into a fist.

  “Heard you had to get rowdy with the dudes next door to the girls this morning.”

  Fucking fantastic.

  “Yeah, where’d you hear that at?”

  “The guy who knew about us. We have mutual friends. His dad did go to high school with me. I heard through the grapevine. You didn’t have to go to bat like that, but I’m grateful that you did. Heard you got Justice a new laptop too. ‘Preciate it.”

  The praise is more than I can handle. I do things around here because I feel like it, but I don’t need some pat on the ass for it. “Just doing my job.”

  “C’mon, man, you and I both know it’s more than that.”

  My dark eyes meet his light ones, and I can tell - he knows. Everything I’ve tried to keep to myself for months. Drew knows.

  “Do we need to have a conversation?” he asks.

  This is the opening I’ve wanted, have fucking prayed for. But I’m doubting myself. Worried that I’m not the right man for Justice, that I’m not the person Drew sees her with. What if I lay everything out there for him and he flat-out tells me to go to hell?

  Wouldn’t be the first time, but goddamn it’ll hurt.

  “Yeah, we do.”

  “Follow me.”

  At first I have no idea where he’s taking me, but then I realize we’re heading to the office. Which is the last place I want to go. I don’t want Harley overhearing this and then maybe having to tell Justice I got my ass handed to me by their dad.

  When we enter, I’m thankful no one else seems to be inside. At least I’ll be able to lick my wounds in private if this doesn’t end up the way I hope it will. He leads me to his office and then shuts the door. “Have a seat.”

  My heart pounds as if I’m about to go before a firing squad. In some ways, I guess I am. Drew Walker has my future in his hands. He’s allowed to say yes or no to what I want, and that will either make or break how I envisioned the rest of my life playing out.

  Trying to appear at ease, I stretch my legs out in front of me, willing them not to move back and forth. It’s a nervous tick I have, and I don’t want Drew to know he intimidates me.

  “What is it you want to talk to me about?” he asks, although he knows exactly what it is. Everyone knows what it is.

  Clearing my throat, I do my best to be the man my dad raised me to be. Don’t back down, ask for what you want, fuck ‘em if they don’t agree with you. This right here is too important to fuck ‘em if they don’t agree with me. I struggle with how to start my declaration to him.

  “Justice has always been special to me, since that night with Travis. E
ven before then,” I’m quick to assure. I don’t want him to think I have some sort of white knight syndrome and I get off on helping people. That’s not who I am.

  “That night changed a lot of us.” He scratches the back of his neck. “There are some things that will never be the same again, but trust me when I say I don’t think you have some sort of hard-on for helping damsels in distress. I’ve never seen you do it again, although there are times when you could’ve.”

  “Right,” I answer, thankful he’s on the same page as me. “But Justice, she and I have always had a connection with one another. Something I’ve never had with another person. Yes, it was strengthened by what we both went through, but it’s not the cause of it.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” He steeples his fingers, nodding at what I’m saying. “The last thing I want is for my daughter to feel as if she’s some kind of pet project.”

  “No, she’s not. I’ve kept my distance, only because I know what I feel for her. Over the years when we’ve been there for one another, we’ve forged a bond that’s not going to be broken, but it’s strong. Unbelievably strong.”

  “I’ve seen it. When the two of you are together, it’s almost as if there’s a string pulling you two closer. I haven’t wanted to acknowledge it because she’s as young as she is.”

  “Yes, I wanted her to be able not to only make her own decision, but to be an adult when she made said decision. On her sixteenth and eighteenth birthdays, she kissed me.”

  Drew chuckles. “Well, sounds like she made it.”

  “She did, but the thing is, I can’t go into this with my eyes wide open until I get your blessing. Might sound cheesy as fuck, but I’ve always respected you in everything I do, and this will be no different. I have to know you approve of me being with Justice. You’ve been like an older brother to me, and your opinion means everything.”

  I stop, not wanting to sound too much like a pussy, but I know I’m pushing the limits. No one wants a member of their motorcycle club to hand over their balls just for wanting to date their daughter.

  “I’ve watched you grow up, Caelin. Seen the shit you did as a teenager, saw every single woman that threw themselves at you. They were way, way, older and I think they probably taught you a thing or two.”

  The heat of a blush creeps up my neck. “You could say that.”

  “Justice is nothing like them. As much as we could, we kept her sheltered, because she saw the worst the world has to offer so early in her life. Neither me nor Charity wanted her to come out of it a shell of herself, so we didn’t put her in situations where she would withdraw into herself. I think we were wrong; we should’ve allowed her to choose what she wanted. I think it’s important we do that moving forward.”

  He stops for a second, taking a drink of the water he has on his desk.

  “If it were up to us, she wouldn’t have moved in with Harley. There was a lot of discussion back and forth on whether she would. But in the end, we sided with the both of them. They wanted to stay together, but be out of our home. I stay up every night worrying about them, but most of that worry is for her.”

  “I get it.” I take my moment to interject. “I worry about her too. I watch over her more than I should.”

  “We all do,” he admits. “But here’s the thing. I’ve got to trust her to make her own decisions. I’ve never seen her blossom the way she has while living with Harley. If I’d known she’d grow so independent and full of life, I might have let them move out at sixteen. In trying to protect her, we’ve all been smothering her, and I’ve learned that’s not what she needs. Justice is a flower seeking light and she’s growing toward it. We’ve all got to let her do that. So to answer your question. If my daughter chooses you, then you have my blessing. There were times when I didn’t trust her and I should’ve. I’m going to trust her now. I want her to keep growing and blooming toward that light, and if you’re the sun for her - then be it.”

  I never expected such a metaphor to come from Drew, but it’s obvious he’s done some work on himself too. We all have. Trying to figure out where we go as a club after losing Doc Jones and Travis.

  We’ve taken it seriously and put in the time.

  “Thank you.” I breathe, for the first time today, I breathe. I let my shoulders relax, the tension falls out of my body and I give myself permission to be happy. “I’ll treat her right.”

  “I know you will.” He reaches out to grab my hand in a shake. When he does, he grips it hard. “If you don’t, you’ll have to answer to me, this whole club, and her mom. If I were you, I’d make sure you do it all right, Caelin.”

  “Understood.”

  As I leave the office, I check my phone, seeing it’s past time for Justice to leave the law office. Maybe she’s at home and I can tell her the good news. Maybe I can ask her out on a date and celebrate. Either way I have to see her. I’ve been holding all these feelings in for too long, and now I have permission to let them out. There’s absolutely no way I’m keeping them in.

  Signaling to Wild I’m done for the day, I stride out to where my bike sits in the parking lot and hop on. Within seconds, I’m on it and heading to the area where the twins have their apartment.

  Nothing can slow me down or fuck up my mood, even five o’clock traffic on a Wednesday. I take it all in stride, turning into the parking lot of their building. Her car is here, no bikes around, which means she’s alone.

  Thank God. What I have to say to her, I don’t want an entire audience for.

  Taking the steps to the second floor as quickly as I can, I knock loudly on the door, and wait for her to open it.

  When she does, she’s fresh from a shower, her hair wet, skin glowing.

  “Caelin?”

  “Yeah, it’s me, and I’m here for one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  My fingers tangle in her hair, palming the back of her head as I pull her into the kiss I’ve always wanted to take. For years I’ve held back. No more.

  Justice Walker is about to get every piece of me.

  Chapter Seven

  Justice

  Some guy showing up at my front door, kissing me senseless has never been my life’s dream. At least not for just any guy to show up and do it. If this was ever a wish for me, it always included Caelin.

  Now, that wish is coming true.

  I make a noise against his lips as he pushes me into my apartment. Luckily for the two of us, we’re alone, and as I press against him, he lets up on the kisses stealing my breath away.

  “What is happening here?” I pant, trying to figure out if I fell in the shower and now I’m concussed, having a soap-opera type highlight reel.

  “I talked to your dad. There’s a lot of stuff we discussed.” He holds my cheeks in the palms of his hands. “One of those things is he gave us his blessing.”

  My heart pounds so loudly it reverberates in my ears. “You talked to him? He’s okay with it?”

  The only reason we haven’t discussed it with him previously is because I thought it would cause friction, and I didn’t want that for Caelin.

  “He is, that’s not to say he wants us flaunting it in his face, but he’s okay with me dating you and you dating me.” He pulls back slightly. “If that’s what you want. I obviously don’t want to make assumptions.”

  I shriek loudly, hopping into his arms, wrapping myself around his body.

  He holds me tightly, walking us to my bedroom.

  Ohmigod, this is the first time I’ll be alone with Caelin in my bedroom. Cue inner freak-out.

  “So this is what your room looks like?” He has a seat on the bed, letting me go.

  “Yeah.” I push my hair back from my face.

  Suddenly I’m nervous. Whenever Caelin and I have flirted with one another, it’s been through text or at another place we’re both equally comfortable. This, it got real serious, real fast.

  I stand in front of him, nervous as hell, afraid I’m going to mess this up before it gets star
ted. “So what does this mean?” I gesture between the two of us, not wanting to make a mountain out of a molehill.

  “It means,” - he reaches for me, but I move just so I’m out of his grasp - “that we can talk about what we both want. I would never pressure you into something you aren’t interested in, I hope you know that.”

  “I do, but I guess my question is, what are you after?”

  With Caelin there will be expectations I’m afraid I can’t meet.

  “Jus.” His eyes soften. This time when he reaches for me I let him wrap his arms around my waist and pull me in. “I’m not here to pressure you.”

  “You’re used to...things,” I finish up, not wanting to admit I’m a virgin. I’ve saved myself for the one person I’ve always wanted.

  Him.

  “I may be used to things, but you’re the person I’ve always wanted. Anyone else who was before you was a stand-in.”

  Those words are supposed to make me feel better, but instead they give me more doubt. Knowing those other women were able to take my place. “Caelin…”

  “Wait! That came out all wrong.”

  “If it was supposed to make me feel better, it didn’t.”

  He sighs, holding me tightly around the waist. “Look, here’s the truth. I’ve always wanted you. Everyone knows I’ve always wanted you, but I never imagined I could have you. It was setting myself up for a heartbreak, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to recover from it.”

  “Then why didn’t you talk to me? Talk to my dad? What changed today?”

  “I couldn’t hold off any longer. The kiss we shared on your birthday, and then again today has been killing me. I’ve stayed apart from you for almost half your life. I don’t wanna live the rest of mine without you.”

  Total meltdown. All the doubts I had? They’re still here, but the way he’s looking at me, the honesty spreading across his face, and the earnest quality of his voice is what does me in. Leaning down, I kiss him soundly.