Out of Darkness Read online

  Out of Darkness

  Laramie Briscoe

  Dedication

  This is for anyone who’s coming out of a bad place in their lives. No matter how dark the moment seems – there will always be a way out of it.

  To my family, friends, co-workers, and fans…thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  Summary

  Ex-news reporter.

  Rape survivor.

  Former enemy of the Heaven Hill MC.

  Meredith Rager’s life completely changed the night she was attacked by an unknown person. Once a vibrant force that threatened everything about Heaven Hill, she is now under their care. The only place she feels safe is inside their compound. When she decides to take back the part of her life that her rapist took away, she discovers secrets that once again could tear the club apart.

  Orphan.

  Formidable force of nature.

  Loved member of the Heaven Hill MC.

  Tyler Blackfoot came into the world a John Doe. An orphan from the moment that he took his first breath, the only thing anyone knew was his Native American heritage. For most of his life, he’s been alone – except for the club that has taken him in as their own. When he rescued Meredith, a protective side of his personality came out that he never knew he had. Protecting her means everything – even when he discovers danger might be closer than either of them thought possible.

  Together, the two of them are trying to make a life for themselves. Against everything they have, they’re hoping to see the light that will lead them out of darkness.

  Table of Contents

  Dedication

  Summary

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Coming Soon – Losing Control (Heaven Hill Series #3)

  The Heaven Hill Series

  Connect with Laramie on Substance B

  Chapter One

  For services rendered.

  Meredith jerked awake as she remembered the dollar bill hitting her back. It was the same dream every night. She always woke up when he said those words and threw the money. Sleep never came after one of her nightmares, even when she took the pills the good doc had prescribed. Carefully, she pushed back the covers of Tyler’s bed and slid her legs to the side. Her heart caught, the way it always did when she saw Tyler asleep on the floor. Maybe one day she would be able to invite him into this bed. Quietly, she dressed and grabbed her running shoes. If she couldn’t sleep, she may as well get something accomplished.

  Making her way to the kitchen of the clubhouse, she smiled and waved at those who had come to know her in the weeks she’d been staying here. It was easy to pretend with these people that nothing really had happened to her. She’d taken a leave of absence from her job and moved all her belongings into storage. Meredith had known without a doubt that she could never go back to the life that she had lived before. Any of it. Now her time was broken into two points – before the rape and after the rape.

  “Going for a run?” Liam asked as he spotted her running shoes.

  “Yeah, is Denise up yet?”

  The look that overtook his face when she mentioned his woman made Meredith sad. At one time that was what she wanted, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever get back there again.

  “Sure is, she was on her way up here. Just text her. I know she’d love to run with you.”

  It went without saying that Meredith didn’t like to run by herself, and Denise usually went along whether she wanted to or not. Meredith was beginning to understand that it was a sign of a real friendship.

  “Will you let Tyler know where I am?” she asked, grabbing a couple bottles of water.

  “I will, but you and I both know that he always knows where you are.”

  Not long after her attack, Tyler had installed a special tracking program on her phone. Before, it would have freaked her out. Now though, it made her feel safe.

  “See ya,” she called to the VP as she made her way out the back door.

  Stepping out into the sunlight, she looked up. It was coming upon mid-October in south central Kentucky and it should have been at least a little bit chilly, but they were in the grips of an Indian summer. For reasons she couldn’t understand, Meredith was glad. She wasn’t sure she could face a winter being cooped up right now. Being outside in this protected place was the only way she felt safe. The only time she felt alive other than when she wrote.

  Writing had become her solace. She wrote something every day. The therapist had suggested it, and she had been amazed at how much she enjoyed it. Although she’d been a reporter, she’d never really been a writer. She loved it even more than the news.

  “You ready, girlfriend?”

  Meredith smiled, the first genuine one she’d had all day, as she spotted Denise walking towards her, pulling her hair into a ponytail.

  “I don’t know why you do that. You always end up taking it down because it gives you a headache.”

  Denise grinned. “Makes me feel like I’m a real athlete.”

  A laugh bubbled up from deep within Meredith, and she put her hand over her mouth to cover it up.

  “Don’t,” Denise admonished. “It’s good to hear you laugh.”

  It went without saying between the two of them that Meredith hadn’t had much to laugh about for a while.

  “It feels good to laugh,” she admitted softly.

  The moment got a little heavy, and Denise did what she’d gotten best at with the other woman, turned the attention away from her.

  “So how far are we going to go today? Are you going to give me a heart attack or just an irregular heartbeat?” she joked.

  Meredith knew just how much Denise hated exercise, and that said a lot about the person that Denise was. That she came out here everyday, huffing and puffing her way through whatever run Meredith mapped out for them.

  “Maybe just an irregular heartbeat. I don’t wanna kill ya just yet.”

  “Thank God for small favors.”

  With that, the two took off, jogging slowly, but Denise groaned because she knew that soon they would really start running, and that just plain sucked.

  “Meredith go for a run?”

  It unnerved Liam how quiet Tyler was when he wanted to be. Sometimes he could come in and out of a room and no one knew it, even if the room was full of people.

  “Yeah, you could just track her, you know.”
/>
  “I know,” he said, grabbing the handle of his skull coffee cup. “But then I feel like I’m stalking her. It’s not a good feeling.”

  “She still having trouble sleeping?” Liam asked his friend as he took a seat across the table from him.

  “Yeah, she thinks I don’t know, but I hear her every morning when she wakes up. She’s having nightmares, but she won’t talk to anybody about them. I keep hoping she’ll talk to Denise.”

  Gently, Liam reminded the other man. “She had a horrible thing happen to her. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it.”

  “I want her to talk to me about it. That way I can figure out who the fucker was and then scalp him like my ancestors would have.”

  “You know how scary you are saying that as you drink from a skull coffee mug?” Liam deadpanned.

  Tyler grinned. “I know. Keeps you on your toes don’t it?”

  Denise gulped water from the bottle that Meredith had given her. “You love this don’t you?” she panted, putting her hand at the stitch on her side.

  “Not at all. It’s sad that you’re having such a hard time with a simple run,” Meredith taunted as she grinned.

  “Simple my ass, Rager. These are fucking hills. Hills, I say!”

  “I know, and you’re doing a really good job. I really am proud of you.”

  Denise took a moment to get her breath. “I’m proud of you too.”

  The moment turned awkward, and Meredith turned so that Denise couldn’t see her face. “Don’t turn away from me. I am proud of you. You’ve found something that you like doing and you’re doing it.”

  “Only because I know I’m safe here,” Meredith argued.

  “I worried about you that week after it happened. I didn’t think you were ever going to get out of that room. You’ve made great strides.”

  “But I still can’t let Tyler sleep in his own bed.”

  Denise cautiously put her hand on Meredith’s arm. “Trust me, when you’re ready, he’ll be ready. No one even looks at you wrong for fear of him.”

  “I feel like I’m using him,” she admitted.

  “You’re not. You’re living your life the only way you know how at this point, and truthfully that’s all you can ask for. I can’t imagine going through what you went through, and I’m not saying that out of pity. It’s the truth.”

  But that was the problem wasn’t it? All Meredith could feel, when she could actually feel, was the pity. The fear. The emptiness. When would it ever change?

  Chapter Two

  I wonder what I did to deserve this? Was it really my fault, playing two clubs against one another, searching for the truth? Did I really deserve to be raped? I think I did, and that’s probably the worst thing. I try to make myself feel better, I really do, but then I realize that maybe I did ask for this.

  “What are you writing?”

  Meredith slammed the leather journal closed and glanced up at Tyler. The man was beautiful really. He stood easily 6’3, though with his motorcycle boots he probably topped 6’5. The Native American heritage was apparent in his high cheekbones, the long, straight black hair, and the suntanned tone of his skin. His brown eyes burned intensely as he watched her.

  “Just journaling like the therapist suggested I do.”

  “Speaking of, are you ready for your appointment?”

  She nodded. “I am, just gotta grab my backpack.”

  Silent as ever, all he did was nod. He was so good to her, taking her wherever she needed to go, never asking for more than what she was willing to give, talking to her only when she spoke to him. It was everything she needed, and she counted on him more than she’d ever thought she would count on another human being. Grabbing her backpack, she put it on and went to stand beside him.

  “Ready when you are.”

  He ushered her out of the room, past the people gathered in the clubhouse, and out to where he parked his bike. Once there, he got on and handed her the helmet that he’d bought for her and waited for her to hop on the bike.

  This was his favorite part of the day, when she would put her arms tightly around his waist and hang on for dear life. It was the only time she allowed him to touch her. Sometimes at night, he would watch her sleep. Very rarely, he would carefully perch himself on the edge of the bed and lightly run his fingertips over her cheek. Everybody thought he was a saint for trying to help her through this time in her life, but he truly was a bastard because of the thoughts he had about her when she would subconsciously nuzzle closer.

  Meredith loved the feel of the wind against her face as they rode the bike along the back roads of Warren County. Luckily for her, the therapist that had been recommended was more of a country doctor, catering to most of the uninsured in the community. She didn’t even have to go into the city for her appointments. Tyler revved the bike as they went around a curve, and she risked a smile. She knew it was for her. She loved the little jump it gave, and it always made her squeal and tighten her arms around his flat midsection.

  They got to the old farmhouse the doctor used for an office, and Tyler turned off the bike, balancing it with his long legs so she could get off.

  “You want me to stick around or take off?”

  She wasn’t sure how long this session would last. She had some things she wanted to discuss, and she didn’t want to be rushed.

  “You can take off if you want, I don’t know how long this’ll take.”

  “You’re okay, right?” he asked, concern marring his face.

  “I am, but I need to talk some things through. I don’t want you to have to wait on me.”

  “You know it’s not a problem for me to do that, right?”

  She gave him a small smile. “I know, Tyler, but you go do something for yourself okay. I’m giving you a break from babysitter duty.”

  “Don’t do that. I’m not ‘babysitting’ you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” It bothered him that she just assumed she knew his mind, knew what he wanted to do. His temper spiked, but he kept it under control for her.

  Meredith could tell what it cost him not to talk back to her, not to raise his voice and show anger. It simmered there below the surface and she could see it, but he wouldn’t unleash on her. A part of her wished he would. Another part worried what would happen when he exploded one day. Instead, she sighed, talking calmly.

  “I know, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”

  He gave her a salute as he started the bike and roared off. Squaring her shoulders, Meredith took a deep breath and entered the house.

  “How has your week been going, Meredith?”

  Doctor Jones was an older woman. She had salt and pepper gray hair and the demeanor of a grandmother. Meredith loved talking with her.

  “It’s been going. I’m still having trouble sleeping. I can get to sleep a lot easier now, but it’s the staying asleep I’m having trouble with.”

  “Is Tyler still sleeping in the room with you?”

  Meredith blushed. “He is, but still on the floor.”

  “Has he made any kind of move to try and get back in his bed or move you out?”

  “Not at all. I guess that’s what unnerves me.”

  Doctor Jones sat forward. “Unnerves you how?”

  “What if he wants to get back into his bed, but what if he doesn’t want me to be there?”

  Her brows knitted in confusion. “I’m not sure I’m following.”

  “What if he has male urges, but he knows that I’m not going to satisfy them.”

  “Oh, you’re wondering if he wants to bring a woman home for sex?”

  Meredith nodded, her face going red.

  “Now, are you blushing, or are you jealous?” Meredith ran her sweaty palms along her jean clad thighs.

  She watched as the doctor made notes in her notebook. It felt like this answer held a lot of weight. Like if she got it wrong, she would never be the woman she had been before.

  “A little bit of both. Is that
bad?”

  “Not at all, Meredith. You’ve had a tragedy, but you aren’t dead. I’ve seen the man. You’d have to be dead in order not to notice how nice looking he is.”

  “But what if I’m holding him back? I mean, it’s been a month, almost a month and a half, since it happened. I still can’t even stand to have a man inadvertently touch me. How long is he going to stand for that?”

  The doctor pursed her lips. “Let’s break this down Meredith. Has he approached you in any way?”

  “Well no, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t thought about it. I just don’t think I can act on it again – ever.”

  “Why don’t you do this? Why don’t you explain to him your feelings and see if you can start out small. The two of you are friends, right? Maybe you should concentrate on spending time one-on-one. Get used to him that way and then see if he’ll take you out on a date. I warn you, if you move too swiftly you could set yourself back.”

  Meredith knew in her heart that was true. She also knew that she was the only person here trying to rush herself. For some reason, she didn’t doubt Tyler would wait for her forever. It just made her nervous, the number of women who hung around the clubhouse. They all had their eyes on either Tyler or Liam, and now with Liam spoken for they, were almost all exclusively coming for Tyler. She wanted to stake her claim, but she didn’t know how.

  “I’ll do that. I’ll talk to him about maybe spending some one-on-one time together. Ya know, outside of the bedroom.” Nervously she nodded, wetting her dry lips with her tongue.

  “You set the pace for this, Meredith. As long as you feel comfortable, it can go at whatever pace you want it to. There is no right or wrong. Remember that.”

  Chapter Three

  Her watch showed he was late. Tyler was never late, especially to pick her up from her appointment. Tucking her lip in between her teeth, she contemplated if she should call him. Would that be too similar to her acting like a girlfriend? Putting her thumb over his number in her contacts, she was about to press dial when she heard the roar of his bike.

  As he came to a stop in front of her and turned the engine off, he was apologizing. “Sorry I’m late. I was boxing with Layne, and I didn’t realize what time it was.”