Restraint (Heaven Hill Generations Book 5) Read online

  “Why didn’t you park in the lot?” he asks, sitting his bag down.

  “Because the douches next door get here earlier than we do and take our spots.”

  “Do you want me to go over there tell ‘em to knock it off? I’ll be nice.”

  “I just bet you will.”

  He pulls a brand-new MacBook out of his bag, putting it on my desk. “Look, I know you don’t want one of these, but the fact of the matter is, you need one. I took it upon myself to go get one, and now I’m gonna set it up for you. Make sure you can log into the network, so on and so forth.”

  “Caelin, I told you…”

  His dark eyes sparkle as he reaches into the bag again, tossing a Reynolds wrapped circle in front of me. I sniff the air, my mouth watering. “It’s what you think it is. I went over to Harper’s with Dad earlier. I asked her for a biscuit.”

  I don’t even think about what I’m doing. The excitement of getting one of the coveted breakfast sandwiches is high in our group, so I can do nothing but thank him for it. Running around the desk, I push his chair back, and throw myself into his arms. He catches me easily, a look of surprise on his face. Leaning in, I take his full, pink lips with mine. What was meant to be chaste, slowly turns into something more. Going for it, I shyly work my tongue into his mouth sweeping against the roof, deepening our connection as I dig my fingers into his hair. His hold tightens, dipping further into the kiss. When neither of us can breathe, we pull apart. Reaching up, I wipe his lips clean of my gloss.

  “Thank you!”

  He closes his eyes, voice dark and heavy when he finally answers. “You’re welcome. I better get this set up for you before the office gets busy.”

  “Yeah.” I disengage myself from his arms, smoothing the dress I’m wearing. Slowly I go back around the desk and sink into the chair facing him. Carefully I grab the biscuit, opening it slowly.

  “Here.” He reaches back into his bag. “Gotcha some mustard, too.”

  My heart clenches. Is there anything Caelin doesn’t notice about me? Other than the fact I’m completely in love with him.

  “Thank you.” I clear my throat. It suddenly feels as if shards of glass are there, making it hard for me to put my feelings into words. “I really do appreciate it.”

  “It’s nothing, Jus. There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do to make you smile.”

  And that right there is why I know he’s the man for me.

  Chapter Four

  Caelin

  Fuck dude, get it together. My inner voice is admonishing me as my hands shake slightly while I begin setting up the new laptop. I hadn’t expected the kiss. Just like I’ve never expected ones we’ve had. Maybe at this point, I should.

  But it’d caught me off-guard. The way Justice always does. When I think I have her figured out, she does something to surprise me. It’s the way it’s always been with her. A groan goes straight to my cock, making it stiffen, and reminding me of how long it’s been since I’ve had a woman.

  At some point, I got to feeling like a bastard every time I would go out with another one, knowing Justice was who I really wanted. Which means it’s been almost a year since I’ve had anything other than my left hand.

  “This is so good.” She closes her eyes, slightly tilting her head back, giving me an unencumbered look at the column of her throat. She swallows the bite and my pulse speeds up imagining she’s swallowing my cum.

  Not helping.

  “Yeah, I was lucky Dad asked me to join him this morning.”

  “How’s Tyler? I haven’t seen him in a little while.”

  “Ornery as ever, and enjoying being a grandpa. What else is there for him to do? Bitching about Mom working so much.”

  She makes a noise of agreement. “I saw her last night at CRISIS when I was done teaching my class. She stays way too late.”

  I shrug. “It’s what she loves, nothing either of us says to her gets through. She likes to be hands on, and I think that’s why it’s successful. But just as much as I hate you being there at night, I really hate her being there at night. She pays even less attention to what’s around her than you do.”

  “Shut up.” She throws her used mustard packet at me. “I do pay attention, I just refuse to live my life in fear anymore.”

  “A little bit of fear is good for us, Justice. It gives us a respect for what it can do if we don’t pay attention to it.”

  “I can’t imagine you being scared of anything.” She takes a bite of her biscuit.

  “I’m scared of a lot of stuff, I just don’t show it.”

  She makes a noise. “Oh yeah, name one thing.”

  There’s a ribbon of awareness strung between the two of us. The tension’s so tight it could break if we aren’t careful. Letting her in on one of my biggest fears gives her power, but if I want her to be a part of my life, then I have to let my guard down at some point. It’s only fair, and it’s the only way I can prove to her how much she means to me.

  “You,” I say the word softly. “Scare the fucking shit out of me.”

  Her hands stop in midair as she’s bringing the food up to her mouth. “Me?”

  “You.”

  Her mouth hangs wide open as she struggles with what to say next.

  “You don’t have to say anything, I just thought you should know.”

  “Caelin, don’t drop that type of a bomb on me and then say I don’t have to say anything. What about me scares you?”

  My hands are busy so that my brain doesn’t have to be. I’m still setting this up for her, putting her favorite wallpaper on the screen, taking all the stuff that was on the cloud and getting it to where she can easily find it.

  Sighing heavily, I hit the spacebar harder than needed. Maybe it’s to make a point, perhaps it’s to disrupt her. “Everything.”

  There it is. The word hanging out there in the ether, waiting for her to respond. Again her mouth hangs open. This is when her face screws up in anger.

  “Very funny, Caelin. This wasn’t a joke.”

  “I never took it as one, Justice. You should know me better than that.”

  “And you should care about my feelings more than to make some flippant comment when it comes to how you feel about me. You’re a douche.”

  I push the laptop out from my line of vision, moving my eyes up to check the clock on the other side of the room. We have ten minutes tops to have this conversation. “I do care about you, that’s why you scare the fuck outta me. You’ve been through more than anyone else I know besides my mother.”

  “It doesn’t mean I’m delicate. Look at her.” She crosses her arms over her chest, cheeks pink, eyes firing.

  “No it doesn’t, but she’s had a few more years to meld her armor around her body, don’t you think?”

  “Are you implying I don’t know what I want?”

  “I’m implying that I don’t want either of us to get hurt in the fallout that might happen if you and I give into this current of electricity that keeps flowing between us. There’s sparks. Both of us know it.”

  Her posture loosens slightly. “I’ve waited on you to act since my birthday, Caelin. I kissed you. Twice. What more do I have to do, to show you I’m ready?”

  “You need to let me talk to your dad.”

  “Oh my God, seriously? That’s the nail in the coffin right there. I’m a damn adult.”

  “But he’s my president, and I respect him.”

  She leans forward, putting her head in her hands. “Why don’t you let me talk to him first? Or you know, we can just keep this between us a little longer.”

  “Why are you hesitating now? Why don’t you want either of us to talk to your dad?”

  She hesitates.

  “C’mon Jus, talk to me. If nothing else, we’ve always been able to talk to each other.”

  She sighs, taking a fortifying breath and looks me directly in my eyes.

  Shit’s apparently about to get fucking real. “The thing is, if we get his blessing, you can’t r
un away from me anymore.”

  A chuckle escapes. “I haven’t been exactly running from you.”

  “You haven’t been running to me either, Blackfoot. I promise to take it easy on you.”

  The smile on her face is brilliant, the way it changes the shape of her mouth. She finally looks like a carefree teenager. What I’ve always wanted her to be. “I may not take it easy on you, Walker. If you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of an all or nothing guy.”

  “For years I’ve wanted to be the all girl, standing by your side. Not the nothing girl, watching you with all the others. I’ve known you didn’t really care for them, because I know you so well. You think you know me? You have no idea how I’ll worship you.”

  Who the fuck is the girl, no woman, sitting in front of me? There are layers to Justice that I’ve never seen. Right here, they’re being peeled away in front of me, exposing the person I’ve always been scared to look at, underneath the exterior. She hasn’t held herself away from me, I’ve held myself away from her, scared that I would be too much.

  But maybe we’ll both be exactly what the other wants.

  I clear my throat, ready to answer her when the back door opens and I hear Charity yell at her daughter.

  “Justice, are you here? Sorry they took all the parking again.”

  “No problem, Caelin’s setting up my new laptop.”

  She comes into view and I give her a wave.

  “Oh thank God, that things been on its way out for years. Did you have a burial ceremony for her last night?”

  A snort works its way out of my throat, sounding even worse because I tried to hold it back.

  “Thank you very much, I didn’t. She’s got a place of reverence on my desk.”

  “Told you she’d be a damn good paperweight,” I mumble as I finish the set up.

  “Oh shut up.” She turns to me. “Nobody asked you.”

  “I give my advice free of charge.”

  Right then, Mandy comes through the front door, holding a coffee in her hand, sunglasses over her eyes. “Those shit stains next door are going down. I had to hoof it from the Square.”

  “Do you plan on talking to them?” Charity puts her hands on her hips, giving her a look.

  “You know I have my concealed carry, I plan on having more than a talk with them.”

  “Okay!” I rise up from where I’m sitting at Justice’s desk. “I’ll take care of the assholes next door. No reason for any of you to get involved.”

  “Oh we’re involved,” Justice echoes Mandy. “They’ve been doing this for months. How can we not be involved?”

  “I’ll rephrase my statement. I’ll call Drew if any of you feel like you need to take matters into your own hands. I’m sure he’ll see it my way.”

  “Seriously Blackfoot?” Mandy sighs. “You’d tell on us? I thought you had more balls than that.”

  “I mean,” - I shrug - “I value my balls, and if I let you go over there with your temper flaring and guns blazing, I’d not only have to answer to Drew, but Dalton too. And I honestly make it a point never to deal with both of them on the same day. So, ladies, I’ll bid you a goodbye and I’ll go talk to them.”

  As I’m about to leave, I turn to Justice. “I’ll think about what you said.”

  “You better.” She smiles softly.

  Before I shut the door, I can hear the other ladies questioning her, asking what she said to me. If I know Justice, she’s going to keep this close to the vest until we figure out what we want to do with one another.

  Walking over to the office next door, I take a look at the signage, trying to figure out what I’m getting myself into. It says it’s some sort of social media management office. Slowly I put my gloves back on, sighing before I resign myself to what’s about to happen.

  Great.

  When I open the door and stride in, there’s a whole group of dude-bros hanging around a desk, drinking what looks to be fresh-squeezed orange juice.

  “Can I help you?” one of them asks. He’s got perfectly laying blond hair, and what looks to be a smile that costs thousands.

  “Yeah, who owns this place?”

  He cuts me off. “You do know this is a social media management company, right? Unless you’re starring in the remake of Sons of Anarchy, this probably isn’t the best place for you to be.”

  They all laugh like this is the funniest joke they’ve ever heard.

  “Right.” I bring my gloved hands up and crack my knuckles. “So the ladies next door, they pay for the parking privilege behind their office. Seems as though y’all think it’s yours, even though they’ve told you numerous times it’s not.”

  “First come, first serve,” someone shouts from behind the counter, and they all start high-fiving each other.

  I slow-roll it up to their counter, before leaning on it. “No, that’s not how this is gonna work. Like I told you, they pay for the privilege. You’re encroaching on it.” Reaching into the waistband of my jeans, I pull out my handgun, placing it on the counter. “If I come back any time after five minutes from now and I see any car that doesn’t belong to one of the ladies next door, I’ll shoot out the tires, the windshield, and then I’ll have my friends at Walker’s Wheels tow the fucker. You’ll never see it again. Now I know guys like you love their little Beemers, Chargers, and whatever else mommy and daddy’s money can afford, but I promise if I have to get involved, you’ll never find the car to make an insurance claim. And if you don’t believe me, I can have Drew Walker come tell you himself.”

  “We got it,” someone over to the side says.

  “The fuck we do,” the first guy I talked to grumbles.

  “My dad went to high school with Drew. Trust me.” His eyes meet mine. “We got it. I’ll explain when you leave.”

  “See that you do. If your idiot friends want to try us, they’ll get us.”

  Chapter Five

  Justice

  When Caelin leaves, I try not to let my gaze linger on him too long, but it’s hard. It feels like a part of my soul is walking out the door. He’s been one of the most important people in my life since the night with Travis, and I’ve always counted on him to be there. To think I scare him is one of the most powerful comments anyone has ever bestowed on me.

  “Did he get you up and running?”

  My mom’s voice brings me out of my head. I haven’t tried out the new laptop yet. But I snap to attention anyway. “I think so, I’ll let you know if I have any more issues.”

  “Good, I didn’t get a chance to grab coffee this morning, so I’m heading to Harper’s. Do either of you want anything?”

  Both Mandy and I tell her no, and watch as she leaves through the back.

  “You might want to pick your jaw up off the floor as you stare at Caelin’s ass.”

  Brows furrowed, I glare at my aunt. “What do you mean?”

  “Oh give me a break,” she laughs. “He’s sex on a stick and the way he looks at you could burn down this block. Don’t act like you don’t know it.”

  “I’ve kissed him,” I admit. “Thrice.”

  “How was it?” She comes over to the chair in front of my desk, sitting down and leaning in on her elbows. “I imagine he’s the type of man who likes to take charge. Maybe twine his fingers through your hair and guide you whichever way he wants you to go.”

  “Jesus, Mandy.”

  “I mean anyone who’s looked at Caelin Blackfoot has wondered.”

  “So basically you’re telling me I have a bunch of competition. Thanks.”

  She snorts. “There is no competition when it comes to him. He only has eyes for you. Of that you don’t have to worry.”

  “Before you and Mom came barging in here like you own the place.”

  “Which she does.” She gives me a pointed look.

  I ignore her. “I was asking him why I’ve kissed him three times and he hasn’t made a move.”

  “Do tell, what’s making him hold off?”

  I could kill her
for continuing to interrupt. “Dad.”

  “Oh shit…”

  She was once the daughter of the club president too. Realization dawns on her.

  “Yeah. He wants to get Dad’s permission before he thinks about taking things further with me. But aren’t I my own person? Can’t I make decisions on my own?”

  “Their code is way different than ours, Jus. I won’t pretend like I can easily explain it to you. No one could ever satisfy my curiosity about why I couldn’t make my own decisions either. It’s their way of doing things. It’s not meant for us to understand.”

  “Well, it’s bullshit.” I hitch my chin high.

  “Agreed.”

  “So I’m supposed to sit around and wait for him to talk to Dad? I’ve been waiting for years,” I moan, wishing things moved as fast in real life as they do in my head.

  “Unless you can make him move quicker. I got pregnant.” She grins.

  “Somehow I don’t think that would help anything at all.”

  “You’re probably right about that. Just know we’ve all been there with the men in our lives. He’s going to come around.”

  “Before I’m thirty?”

  “You say that number like it’s so far away. You blink and you’ll miss it. Let things happen, or take them into your own hands.”

  Before I can answer, Mom comes back in and Mandy takes herself over to her desk.

  Being left alone in my own thoughts for the first time today, I take a look at what Caelin’s done for me. He’s put my favorite background on the screen, and he’s got everything in the same place I had it.

  In the corner, I see a little folder that says open me.

  When I do, a message pops up. It’s not the laptop, it’s the person using her.

  It’s stupid, but tears pool in my eyes. Without me ever saying I need compassion, he gives it. The both of us, we’ve been in counseling over the years, after what happened to us. He stopped when Doc Jones passed away, but I found another therapist who I regularly still see.