Enigma Read online

  This is the hardest part to talk about.

  “He took me to a nearby motel and made me change clothes.” I close my eyes as I remember the embarrassment I felt.

  “Smart, he didn’t want people looking for you in the clothes you were wearing. Which means he probably had a history.”

  I nod; he did have a history, and we would find out this wasn’t the first time he’d taken a girl.

  “He touched me when I changed,” I whisper. “I was an early bloomer and was wearing a training bra at eleven.”

  “Did he do anything else?” he asks just as softly. “Besides touching you?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “I think he would have, but he dyed my hair and while we were waiting on it to be done, he turned on the TV. There was already an Amber Alert out for me,” I sob slightly. “My friend had seen what happened and told her mom. They even had the license plate number.”

  “Good friend.”

  “Yeah, she was the best.”

  How do I tell him the kidnapping ruined more than one life? That’s neither here nor there right now, and I don’t have to get into everything tonight, I remind myself.

  “What did he do?”

  “Freaked out. I think he had been planning to hole up in the hotel, but now that the cops had his license plate number and the make of the truck, he was fucked. He washed the dye out of my hair so fast that it didn’t even take, it just gave me streaks,” I run my fingers through my hair. “It’s why I don’t get highlights to this day. He packed us up quick, and then we snuck down to the parking lot. He stole an SUV. And then he was hiding me in the back while we hit the highway.”

  “Damn, Karsyn. Out of everything you could have told me, this wasn’t even on my radar.”

  “I know.” I nod. “But I can’t ask you to be honest with me about stuff and then not tell you about this experience that completely changed my life. For two straight days we were on the run. He touched me again a few times, and threatened to kill me more than once. As we hit Knoxville, the Tennessee Highway Patrol was onto us. We ended up getting into a wreck.”

  Which is a fucking understatement. We were lucky we weren’t killed.

  “He’s been in prison since then, and every time he’s up for parole, I go tell my story.”

  “You’re strong.” He leans in, kissing me softly. “And I don’t deserve you. Not after the shit you’ve been through and the shit I’ve put you through.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Tucker

  I haven’t slept since Karsyn told me her story. She’s sleeping soundly wrapped in my arms. There’s no way I’m going to let go today. Never mind the fact I have to be on-shift in about three hours. Without disturbing her, I reach over, grabbing my phone. Ransom owes me a favor.

  T: I’m calling in that favor where I worked twenty-four hours so you could go home and fuck your wife on your anniversary.

  R: Screw you, we make love.

  I knew that would get him all fired up.

  T: Fine, I worked twenty-four hours so you could go home and make love to your wife. Either way, I’m calling in the favor.

  R: Is everything okay?

  Ransom knows me, and he knows I honestly never call in favors, it’s just not the type of guy I am. If I’m actually calling in on a favor, something serious has happened.

  T: I’m with Karsyn. Some things have gone down and I need to stay with her. I really appreciate this.

  R: Hopefully good things, I know you miss her. No problem, you always work with me, I’m happy to work with you. Believe it or not, I’m psyched you’re spending time with her.

  This isn’t Ransom and my normal conversation, but I appreciate the fact he truly knows the type of man I am.

  T: I have. Thanks for this.

  R: Name your first kid Ransom and we’re even.

  A chuckle escapes my lips before I throw my cell phone over to the bedside table again. Knowing I have nowhere to be, I wrap my arms tighter around Karsyn, and finally fall to sleep.

  “Tucker.” I hear the soft whisper, feel the tips of her fingers on my face. “Tucker.”

  I would know that voice anywhere. I clear my throat as I bury my face in hers. “Do I have to get up?” I stretch against her.

  She giggles as my breath hits her skin. It’s one of her most ticklish spots and I’ve used it to my advantage more than once.

  “Yes, Major is starving. I know you probably have some food in your truck, but I didn’t want to go through your stuff to find your keys.”

  At the sound of his name, Major hops on the bed, whining softly. I reach down with my hand, gently rubbing his nose. “Sorry, bud, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I bet you need to go out too.”

  “I tried to get him to go for me, but he wouldn’t.” Karsyn scoots closer to me.

  “Sometimes he’s picky.”

  “I seem to remember that about both of you.” She trails her fingernail along my chest.

  Finally opening my eyes, I reach out, grabbing her finger. “It’s a personality quirk.” I kiss her jawline.

  “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

  Sitting up, I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands. “That’s what it is, babe. That’s all it is.”

  “Mmm hmmm.” She purses her lips.

  It’s then that I realize she’s put clothes on. “When did we decide to get dressed?”

  She looks up at me, her hazel eyes dancing. “When I decided to try and get your dog to go out for me. Didn’t think it was appropriate to go out there naked.

  I agree, I don’t necessarily want a ton of people to see her the way I do. This right here, is mine. “Good call. Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.” She rubs her stomach.

  “Let’s go grab some food.” Picking up my cell phone, I whistle at how late it is. I’m usually an early riser. “Looks like we’ll have to make that lunch.”

  Karsyn gives me a look, and I’m not sure what to make of it. It’s one-part disbelief and another part shock. “Are you okay?”

  She sighs, sitting up in the bed, holding Major’s head in her lap. “Is this because of what I told you last night? You’re one of those protectors.” She grins. “You always want people to be safe, and you’ll go out of your way to do that.”

  “You’re asking if all I’m doing is protecting you? Like that’s the reason why I’m in bed with your right now?” This is irritating, but I have to remember where we came from. Our relationship before was almost purely physical. We didn’t share feelings, until she blurted hers out one night and maybe that was where we went wrong. Maybe we need to share how we feel.

  “I can’t get my heart broken this time,” she twirls her hair and says softly. “I want to go into this with my eyes wide open, Tuck. You can’t blame me for it. You wrecked me when you left before.”

  I know I did. I not only wrecked her, but I wrecked myself. The department therapist would call me on all of my shit and tell me I’m really good at self-sabotage, but I refuse to be this time. “I’m all in if you are.”

  “As simple as that?”

  “As simple as that.” I reach over, grabbing her hand. “I get it, you don’t believe me, and I understand why. I’ve grown up, matured, and realized what it means to be a person capable of love since we were last together.”

  “You broke me.” She stops twirling her hair, standing up straighter. It’s almost like she transforms in front of my eyes. She doesn’t mince words.

  “I broke myself,” I assure her. “There were days when I didn’t want to get out of bed because of what I did, Karsyn. I knew within days I had fucked it up.”

  “Which is why you started following me?” She laughs.

  “No, I had to work on myself first. There were things I had to deal with, figuring out why I felt unworthy of your love, why it’s so hard for me to say the words. I’m still working on it, but I’m sick of not having you in my life. I’d much rather struggle with you, than without you.”

  “I’
ll be patient,” she promises. “I know I wasn’t before, I wanted everything all at once. I didn’t allow you to ease in, because I didn’t know how you were feeling, but we can change that. As long as you’re open with me, we can make this work.”

  “Can we?” I know most of that is up to her. I’m the one who gave up before, so I need her to be willing to give me that chance.

  “We can, we’ll be adults about this, and not run before we walk. We’ll communicate and not assume.”

  “We’re the worst at that,” I remind her. It’s what fucked us up the first time.

  “Then that’s where we’ll spend most of our time. Figuring out our languages of love.”

  We laugh as we look at one another. Slowly I get serious, letting the smile fall off of my face. Leaning over I cup her cheek in my palm. “I can’t lose you again, Syn. My life had no color, my soul had no purpose, and fuck it was lonely.”

  “I don’t wanna lose you again either. We can do this, Tucker.”

  “But first, lunch?”

  She laughs. “But first lunch!”

  Major barks his approval and reluctantly I let her out of my arms so that we can get dressed to start our day. I’ve not been around a woman getting ready for her day since the two of us were together, and I have to admit this is something I missed more than I thought I would.

  There’s something about standing with her at the dual sinks in her apartment. Me brushing my teeth while she brushes hers. I sneak glances at her out of the corner of eye. Watch as she puts lotion on her hands, something on her face, and sighs when she looks at her hair.

  “I’m thinking of getting it cut.” She looks over at me. “It gets in the way, and I always do like one or two things with it. But I also like having it long. It was a process to grow out. I’m kind of undecided. What do you think?”

  The image of her straddling me, holding her hair up in her hands as her stomach rocks against mine flashes through my memories just like a movie. Without the hair piled up on top of her head, it just wouldn’t be the same.

  “Don’t. I love the way it tangles up when we’re getting intimate, I like running my fingers through it when you’ve put your head on my chest, and I want to bury my face in it so I can smell the shampoo you use. The scent of your shampoo always reminds me of home.”

  Her eyes shine bright in the dim lighting. “Damn, Tuck. When you get serious, you get serious.”

  Nodding my head, I grab the end of one of the locks, holding it in between my fingers. “I do, and I’ve been serious about you for a long time. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

  “You can be vulnerable with me, you know.”

  “I know, I just was. It took a lot for me to say those words.”

  She grins. “Then I’ll hold them close to my heart and never let them go.”

  This girl, she kills me and challenges me. For the first time in years, Tucker Williams wants to be a good man. The best man.

  All for Karsyn Fallaway.

  “I think I’ll keep it long,” she whispers.

  “I think I like that.”

  Another stolen glance at one another is made before we finish our morning routines. And just like that, I’m right where I wanna be.

  Chapter Twelve

  Karsyn

  “Stop!” I giggle, grinning widely as I slap my hand on top of Tucker’s as it trails up my bare thigh. “I’m trying to get this done.” I point to my laptop. “And you’re not making it very easy.”

  “It’s not my job to make it easy,” his deep voice teases. “I’m supposed to distract you.”

  “Well it’s working, but we have to get this message out so that we can get the ball rolling on the fundraisers,” I remind him. “Not like you’ve thought anything about it.”

  He moves his hand farther down my thigh, an innocent expression covering his face. “Can’t blame me. I mean you’ve been sitting here in just my t-shirt for hours. Sooner or later, I’m going to want to see what you have under it.”

  I try to bite back my smile because I don’t want him to know how much this affects me. The truth is my heart is soaring, my stomach pitching with the thrill of excitement. It wasn’t like this before. He wasn’t completely open with his feelings; I felt his attraction, but I never felt his affection. “If you help me with this, maybe I’ll show you myself.”

  His dark eyes go darker. “Is that a promise?”

  “Maybe it is.” I give him a smirk.

  “What do we need to do?”

  A full-body laugh escapes my chest. It takes so little for him now. “Can you ask Ransom if we can use him and Rambo?”

  “On it.” He’s already got his phone out, texting.

  I finish writing all my emails, sending them out to the proper people, and lean over, marking it off on my to-do list.

  “Are we done?” he asks.

  “We are.”

  “Where’s Major?” He looks around for his dog.

  “He’s in the kitchen. He fell asleep on the air conditioner vent.”

  He snickers, shaking his head. “He does love to be chilly.”

  “A lot like you.”

  Tucker situates himself on the couch so that I’m below him, cradling his body in between my thighs. Unlike the feverish pace of last night, this is decidedly slow. His hands mold to my thighs, pushing up against my flesh, lifting the fabric of the shirt up at a snail’s pace. His eyes are hooded as he leans into me, our lips meeting just as slow as his hands on my thighs. The kiss is relaxed, lazy. Gently coaxing my lips apart, the feeling of his tongue sliding in gives me goosebumps. His mouth on mine is a slow fuck making my nipples peak underneath the cotton material they’re straining against. My fingers grab for his shoulders, denting his skin as he smears his lips against my jawline and then down to my neck, licking, sucking, biting at the sensitive flesh.

  “Tucker,” I sigh, lifting my core against him.

  The only thing preventing us from coming together are his boxer briefs and my panties, but those don’t even feel like barriers. He’s thrusting his cock toward me, simulating sex as his mouth moves down my body. Throwing my head back against the arm of the couch, I close my eyes and give myself over to him. I trust him to assuage the ache now taking over my entire body. A moan works its way out as I feel his tongue sweep against the cotton of his shirt, before biting it through the material. It’s both muted and sharp at the same time. My fingernails bite into his flesh now, moving up to his neck, my hands cup his head, holding him firm to where I want him.

  We’re rocking against one another, still slow, as he lifts the shirt up to my rib cage, right under where my breasts sit. There’s a huge part of me that doesn’t want him to let go. There’s another part that desperately wants him to.

  “Open,” he whispers.

  My eyes are slits as I look down to my mouth. His thumb and forefinger are there. I do ask he asks, opening and taking those two fingers inside, licking them like I would his cock.

  He growls, letting go of my nipple before pushing the shirt up and over my tits. Pulling his fingers from my mouth, he uses them to twist my left nipple as his mouth takes my right.

  “Please,” I beg, needing to feel him inside me. My hands go down his back to his waist, slipping my palms under the fabric of his boxer briefs, digging my nails into his ass.

  Before I know what’s happened, the shirt is off, the panel of my panties is pulled aside, and he’s slipped his cock out of the top of his underwear. When he pushes home I sigh, because my God, I feel like I’ve waited forever.

  Tucker lets out a guttural groan, his eyes meeting mine. “God, I missed you,” he whispers before he leans forward, taking my mouth with his.

  We kiss, hungry and sloppy as he thrusts in and pulls out, pushing me closer to the pinnacle. When he stops, pulls out, and stands, I’m not sure what’s happening, but I watch as he pushes his underwear down his body, and pulls mine off too. He stands behind me, snaking his arm around my chest. His hands palm my tits, his mo
uth goes to the back of my neck, and I groan, surrounded by him. “Fuck,” I breathe, not sure how I’m supposed to handle this side of him. When he gets this way it’s all encompassing and I love it.

  He presses me down on the couch, making sure the pillow I have there isn’t suffocating me. His hands tilt my hips up slightly, rubbing over the skin of my ass. A sharp slap makes me gasp, before he lowers himself down, slipping his cock in between my thighs and thrusts home.

  “Tucker, oh my God,” I moan as he puts his arms on either side of me, boxing me in with the weight and strength of himself.

  His voice is deep, sexy, and everything I love about him as he mutters a fuck. Together we rock back and forth, straining against one another.

  “You feel so good,” he grunts as he pumps harder, faster inside of me.

  “You do too,” I answer his grunt with one of my own when he pushes a little rougher than I’ve grown accustomed to.

  Looking to the side, I see his thumb, held up to help him keep his balance. My mouth salivates, I just want to touch him. Reaching forward with my head, I capture it in my mouth. Running my tongue up and down it, around the tip, just like I do to his cock, sucking gently.

  “Shit,” he breathes out, pushing himself up on his knees, using his other hand to smack my ass again. “Yes, suck it like you suck my dick,” he encourages.

  All I need to hear is that he’s enjoying himself, that’s all I’ve ever needed to hear. I feel like a fucking sex kitten when he’s encouraging me. There’s nothing that makes me feel better, makes me feel sexier. I always want to give everything to him, show him I can be the woman he needs.

  As his palm connects with my ass again, I feel myself tumbling over the edge, letting go, and gripping him tightly.

  “Son of a bitch,” he moans. “That’s it, Syn, come for me.” He thrusts harder. “Come. For. Me.”

  Finally I have to let go of his thumb, and I scream loudly as he gives me the last three thrusts hard, just the way I like them. On the third one, I feel the heat inside my body, him coming hard.